Awkward Situations
by WorldofWarCraftFanatic16
Summary: A collection of one-shots including Will, Epps, Sarah, Annabelle, and sometimes Ironhide. Chapter 7: Sarah finally carries out her plan to drive Epps out of the house, but will it work?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Transformer characters.

Summary: Can our two favorite army men survive a game of hopscotch with Annabelle?

A/N: I know there a couple different variations on how to set up hopscotch and play. The one that Annabelle plays is based on one my friends and I made up when we were young. I don't know if anyone else has ever tried it, but it's actually a challenge…as much as hopscotch can be a challenge anyway.

* * *

Epps looked lost as Annabelle looked pleadingly up at him, holding a small stone.

"Please!" she begged, sticking out her lower lip in a pout.

"Hey, Lennox, your daughter wants me to play hopscotch with her!" Epps called to the Captain, who was busy trying to scrub the mud caked on Ironhide's driver side door. He had the hose, some soap, and a sponge. All he needed now was some patience and luck.

Epps had come to his house for the afternoon, but he wasn't feeling up to helping Will clean the truck. Sarah had left as soon as he got to the house, saying she had to pick up groceries. That left them to watch Annabelle. Being the active little girl that she was, she wanted Epps to play with her.

"So?" Will replied, failing to see what the problem was. "Play with her then."

"I don't even know how to play it!" Epps answered.

Will scrubbed at the side of the truck, finally succeeding in getting all of the mud off. After hosing the soap away, he straightened up, cracking his back. "You're kidding, right?" When Epps didn't answer, he shook his head. "All done, Ironhide."

The truck thanked him gruffly before heading back toward the garage where he could watch the area for threats easier. Will went over to the hopscotch diagram that was drawn on the driveway. Annabelle happily handed him the stone she used to throw on the numbers.

"It's simple, Epps. Kids play this game."

Will threw the stone onto one of the numbers and showed Epps what to do. Epps was snickering as he watched the army captain hop through the pattern, skipping over the number the stone landed on. Annabelle was enjoying the whole thing immensely.

"Your turn!" she exclaimed, handing Epps the stone.

As he threw it, Ironhide made his way over. "Captain, it's not safe to allow your daughter to play where cars drive. What if someone turns in here while going at an excessive speed? She could be hit and seriously injured."

"You're right," Will agreed, keeping a straight face. "Why don't you watch out for speeders? That would make it safe then."

"Agreed, and Captain?"

"Hmm?" Will was too busy watching Epps complete his turn, and then Annabelle as well.

"This game is generally played by children up to the ages of nine and usually girls. May I inquire as to why the Sergeant and you are playing it?"

"It keeps Annabelle happy," Will answered as Annabelle finished her turn and came running back to his side. Ironhide seemed to be thinking about that statement as he headed off to make sure the driveway was secure enough to play in.

"Two people at the same time, daddy!" Annabelle requested, tugging on his hand.

"Two people at once?" Epps didn't like the sound of that.

"Yeah, one person starts at one end, and the other on the other side. Then, you have to work your way around each other," Will explained. Once more, Will demonstrated for him with the help of Annabelle this time. She was giggling and tugging Epps toward one end of the diagram.

"Your turn!"

"Uh, Annabelle, I don't think your dad and I can fit on the squares together," he protested.

"Mommy said I have to let _everyone_ have a turn," the little girl replied. "Please?" She was back to begging.

They relented only to please her. She threw the stone for them, managing to get it in a complicated place. To complete the course, Will and Epps would have to be on the same square at one point, and then somehow get around each other on that square without stepping outside the lines or falling off one foot.

"No switching feet!" Annabelle said with obvious delight while watching them struggle.

"You know, Lennox, I've been in a lot of awkward situations, but this one definitely takes the cake," Epps commented. They were practically pressed up against each other in a five by five inch box drawn by a child.

"We're doing this for Annabelle, remember?" Will replied as they slowly got around each other. "Quit swaying. You're making me lose my balance."

"My ankle feels like it's on fire…"

"Oh my god!"

They both jerked their heads upright as they heard the exclamation followed by uncontrollable laughter. Sarah was doubled over outside her car now parked near them. She was holding her sides as she laughed. Will and Epps instantly stopped playing and put a little bit of a distance between them.

"Mommy's laughing at us," Annabelle pointed out innocently. Will reached down to swing his daughter up in his arms.

"I know, she's very rude, isn't she?" he asked with a serious expression. Annabelle nodded just as seriously.

"Man, I blame you for this," Epps said to him. "She is never going to let this go," he added, pointing to Sarah.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated. I have written a couple different humorous scenes involving this group. If people want to read them, then I am willing to post some more.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Sorry. I really wish I did, though.

Random side note: Through all of these one-shots, Epps is practically living in Will's house. They repeatedly tell him to leave, but he never listens. Why? I don't know. It was a fun thing to do.

* * *

"Epps, why the hell is your mail being forwarded to us?" Sarah asked, throwing his mail into his face.

"This is my home. Last time I checked, that's where mail gets delivered," Epps replied smartly. He opened all the envelopes to find bills. How disappointing.

Will walked by, pausing when he saw an unfamiliar magazine lying on the coffee table. Eyes widening, he realized what it was. "Epps! You can't leave this laying around!" he hissed, throwing the magazine at him much like Sarah had done with the mail. The magazine was of women in skimpy or non-existent clothes.

"I found it under your bed," Epps answered.

"What were you doing under my bed? And for the second time, it's not mine."

Epps pointed to the address label that clearly read William Lennox. "That's where I slept when Sarah's mom was here for a week and took the couch from me."

"You did?" Will responded in a funny tone. "I thought after Sarah scared you away that one time, you didn't come back."

"Nope, I was there every night. I found various ways to sneak in. I thought it was pretty funny. I couldn't wait to tell you about it."

Silence.

"You're not serious! You slept through that!?" Will blurted out.

"Through what?"

Silence again.

"Nothing…" Will muttered.

"Why do you have bad magazines?" Epps asked, changing the subject again. "You have Sarah. You don't need them!"

"It's not mine!" Will exclaimed. "Give it to me. I'll throw it away."

"Whoa! No way, I'm keeping it," Epps said, tucking it in with his other mail.

"Fine. Just don't show Sarah."

"Oh, I forgot to ask if Annabelle's okay," Epps asked casually as Will sat down at the other end of the couch. He looked around for her, but she was outside playing with the new puppy Sarah had got her.

"She's fine. Why?"

"I heard her get into your bed last night. I thought maybe she had a bad dream or felt sick." Epps was shuffling through his mail again. Will furrowed his brow.

"She didn't get into my bed last night."

"Yeah. Around two." Epps stared at Will to see if he was lying. "I heard the bed squeaking like she climbed up with you…"

Will's face turned an interesting shade of red. He cleared his throat awkwardly. Epps's face took on an astonished look as he finally caught on to what Will had been hinting to all along.

"No! Man, at two o'clock in the morning!" he exclaimed. "Who does that when their best friend is sleeping under their bed!?"

"I didn't know you were there!" Will yelled back. "And for your information, Sarah woke me up, I…why am I discussing this with you?" he groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I can't believe you were there."

"I can't believe I was there!"

There was an even more awkward silence.

"Does that mean when you told me a while back that Sarah tests the mattress every night to see if it's still bouncy, you were lying?" Epps asked suspiciously. "It was really you two…"

Will nodded without looking up.

"Oh, my…every night?"

Another nod.

"Geez, Lennox! You should have told me the truth."

"How was I supposed to know you were hiding under my bed?" Will fired back.

"Wait a second." Epps held up a finger for silence as it seemed that another light bulb had popped on in his mind. "There was the testing the bed incident and the two o'clock thing last night. That means…oh, my god! No wonder you always look like you never get enough sleep, and Sarah's always a cheerful morning person!"

"Can we not discuss this, please?" Will's sentence was muffled due to the fact he was trying to smother himself with his hands.

"Maybe we should forget we had this conversation…" Epps suggested. Will agreed with frantic head nodding.

*******************************************************

That night, Will was wondering whether or not to tell Sarah about what Epps had done. When he went to bed, she was already there, reading a book. Will threw back the covers with a sigh.

"Honey…"

Sarah looked up at him, but then suddenly screamed when something reached out from under the bed and grabbed her foot.

"Oh my god, Will!" she yelled, throwing her book and scooting to his side of the bed.

"Sarah, it's okay. It's Epps," Will explained.

Two fingers emerged from underneath the bed in a peace sign. "Yo."

"Why is he under our bed?!"

"Apparently he's been there for about a week," Will answered.

"You mean…"

Will nodded. Sarah looked thoroughly embarrassed.

"I can't believe you!" she yelled at Epps. "Get out right this instant!"

Even after they watched him leave and Will locked and barricaded the door, Sarah stayed well away from the edge of the bed that night.

* * *

A/N: Did anyone else think that was funny? If you are wondering the question of why someone would hide under someone else's bed like that…I don't know the answer.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that these stories are based around. I also don't own the games they play. In fact, I don't own much of anything…

A/N: Thank you to everyone that has reviewed the last two chapters. If you left a review with an account name, then I tried to reply to you. Hope I didn't miss anyone. And, to everyone who didn't leave a signed review-thanks!

Summary for Chapter Three: When Will brings home Dance, Dance Revolution (DDR) and Guitar Hero, havoc ensues.

* * *

"Aren't you supposed to be at your mother-in-law's house?" Epps asked as he sat on the Lennox's couch, eating some chips he had found in the cabinet. He had his feet propped up on the coffee table, and was flipping through the channels on TV. So far, he hadn't found anything worth watching. What did he expect? It was the middle of a Monday.

"Aren't you supposed to be at your own house?" Will replied when he passed the couch with a box tucked under his arm.

"Yeah, but your house is cooler," Epps answered evasively.

Annabelle skipped into the room, apparently following her dad around to see what he was doing. Epps wasn't the only one bored on this Monday afternoon. She stopped right behind Will, waiting patiently for him to continue on again.

"I told Sarah I was sick. Her mom hates sick people around her," Will said. He pulled out another box from under the coffee table. "She has a big phobia against germs."

"What's in the boxes?"

With a grin, Will held up the two boxes, so that the names faced his friend.

"DDR and Guitar Hero?" Epps read off with mild confusion. "You know Annabelle is too young to play those, right?"

"Yep. I told Sarah I'd teach Annabelle. Really, I bought them for me. Which do you want to play first?"

"Uh…DDR…I guess?" Epps didn't sound too sure.

He waited for Will to set it up. Annabelle became bored when she realized her dad wasn't doing anything exciting. She left to play with her dolls.

Will and Epps were forced to choose beginner, intermediate, or expert after the game loaded. Will confidently hit expert.

"Are you sure we can just jump to that level?"

"Yeah, we're in the army!" Will replied. "This can't be any harder then those drills we had to do."

Epps agreed, going to stand on his own mat. They were both stunned by the arrows flying up the screen at an impossible rate.

"Oh, shit!" Epps yelled, finally jumping into action. "How the hell are you supposed to hit all of them?" Neither of them checked to see if Annabelle had heard the swear word. They were too busy jumping around like fools to try and keep up.

"This is insane!" Epps yelled. "How are you supposed to push all four buttons at the same time?!" The whole house was practically shaking from their jumping around.

In about a minute, the session stopped with someone proclaiming they sucked at dancing and failed. Epps took a swig of his Mountain Dew, looking determined. "Okay, I'm ready this time," he said.

Annabelle quietly played with her dolls while Epps and Will tried over and over to get an 'A'. Two hours later, they were both lying on the floor, sweating like pigs, and trying to catch their breath.

"I think my legs are cramped up," Epps complained. The voice on the game told them they managed to get an 'E' last time. Better than an 'F'. Annabelle crawled over to where they were lying and plopped down between them, still holding her dolls.

"Daddy? Why were you and Epps yelling at the TV?"

"We got a little carried away…" Will trailed off. "Hey, Anna, don't repeat anything Epps says, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," she replied, already back to playing with her dolls. Sarah would murder both of them if Annabelle started swearing.

"That sucked," Epps proclaimed, finishing his Mountain Dew and tossing the empty can with the pile of other ones on the coffee table.

"Maybe Guitar Hero will be easier," Will said in a hopeful tone. He got to his feet and switched the games. Epps picked up the box which had an ad on it featuring David Cook playing Guitar Hero in his underwear while standing on a couch.

"Do you think we could get that good?" Epps asked, holding it up for Will to see.

********************************************************

"…no, Will's been watching Annabelle a lot lately," Sarah told her mom as they lugged their shopping bags from the car and up to the front door of the house. "He's pretty good with her. She's in good ha…"

They opened the door to chaos. Sarah's mouth dropped open, and her mom gave a startled gasp. Loud music was playing and Will and Epps were dancing around in the room while strumming on fake guitars. The even more funny part was that they were only dressed in tanks, boxers, and socks. Both of them froze when they saw the women.

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy's funny," Annabelle laughed, clapping her hands.

"William Lennox, get off the coffee table!" Sarah yelled.

She stormed over to shut the game off. Will stepped down from the table, and Epps got down from the couch. There were cans of Mountain Dew and a chip bag scattered across the floor. Sarah's mom was still standing by the door with a shell shocked look on her face.

"Both of you clean up this mess!" Sarah ordered, pointing to the cans. "And put clothes on for Pete's sake!"

Hanging their heads, both men complied with mumbled apologies.

* * *

A/N: I still have more of these stashed around if people are still enjoying them :)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Refer to previous chapters.

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone that has reviewed! I also have to note that my sister, SireenC, helps me come up with a lot of these ideas. She pretty much gives me a topic, and I take it somewhere crazy. I guess I owe her a thanks too.

To Kittisbat: Sarah is definitely wondering if she should get divorce papers written up :D

* * *

"Wait, why do I have to take Annabelle trick or treating?" Will asked when Sarah gave him the news. "Isn't that like a mother and daughter thing?"

Sarah sat the bags of candy she had bought on the counter, smacking Will's hand away when he reached to take some of it.

"Because Annabelle thinks you're the funnier one, remember? So, funny guy," She pushed one of the other bags into his chest, "take her for candy. In fact, take Epps too. Get him off my couch."

"What is this?" Will asked, opening the bag and pulling out a brown cloak, followed by a black one.

"Your costume," Sarah replied. "One for Epps too. You can be Jedi's together. Annabelle is Leia."

Epps waltzed into the kitchen to get a drink, and Will threw the black cloak at him.

"Guess what? We're taking Annabelle trick or treating," Will announced, breaking the news to his friend.

"And I'm a Sith?" Epps looked excited. "Where's my red lightsaber?"

They sorted out their costumes while Sarah fixed Annabelle's hair to look like Leia's style. The little girl was smiling broadly as she clutched her bucket to put candy in.

"Daddy! Let's go! Let's go!" she exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Will and Epps were fighting with their lightsabers, cloaks twirling around them. Epps's face could barely be seen beneath his hood that was drawn up.

"Come on, Daddy!" Annabelle took his hand and pulled him toward the door.

"Keep Daddy and Epps under control, Anna," Sarah called after her daughter. She shook her head to herself. She highly doubted they would make it home in one piece.

They climbed into the truck, and Ironhide drove them downtown.

"I don't think this tradition is very safe," Ironhide informed them. Will had come to realize that the Autobot thought everything they did was somehow unsafe. "Why would you take food from strangers who could have very well poisoned them? It's completely foolish."

"He's right. Let's go home," Epps responded.

"No, I want candy!" Annabelle said, very close to a whine this time.

"Come on, Epps, grow a pair. You can't handle trick or treating?" Will asked as Ironhide parked on the street side. He climbed out the door before helping Annabelle down.

"What does Epps need to grow?" she asked in her innocent high-pitched voice.

"Er…bravery. He's a wimp," Will lied quickly before ushering her toward the first house. "Go get some candy, honey."

As Annabelle skipped up to the door, Epps brought up his fake lightsaber. "Okay, tough guy, defend yourself!"

Will's blue lightsaber powered up. The duel was on.

***************************************************************

"Trick or treat!" Annabelle exclaimed, smiling at the elder lady who opened the door.

"Well, aren't you cute," the lady said as she gave her some candy. "Where are your parents?"

Annabelle pointed proudly to the two adults beating each other up with plastic lightsabers in the middle of the street. In the dark, it was easy to see the colors blue and red whipping around.

"Oh my…" The lady looked a little stunned at the display.

"Daddy told Epps to grow a pair. Epps didn't like that," Annabelle said as if to explain why they were fighting.

"Oh my!"

"Thank you!" Annabelle said cheerfully before skipping away from the house and continuing onto the next one.

Meanwhile, Will and Epps were getting increasingly violent.

"Get your skinny ass back here, you poor excuse of a Jedi! I'm gonna shove this lightsaber up…"

"Sirs!" a policeman barked, getting between them before Epps could follow through with his threat. "Have we had a bit to drink tonight?"

Both men answered negatively.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave the area," the policeman said.

"As soon as I get…" Will looked around for his daughter. "Epps, where is Annabelle?"

The Sith Lord wannabe shrugged.

"Fu…" Will quickly changed his word choice at the policeman's stern look. "Fungus!"

Before anyone could panic further, Annabelle came back over with a whole bucket full of candy. "Lookie!" She held it up for their examination.

"Okay, gentlemen, please take your daughter and leave," the policeman ordered.

Epps choked. "Excuse me? We're not…together. I would kill him before…"

The policeman sighed, looking positively fed up with the situation. "Just. Leave."

They drug themselves to the truck and back home. Sarah smiled at them when they came in the door.

"How'd it go?"

"Awesome!" Annabelle answered before running past to eat her candy in front of the TV. Sarah eyed the ratty, battered shape of Will and Epps's costumes.

"What happened to you two?" she asked, sounding curious.

"Nothing much," Will replied casually. He and Epps moved to steal some of the leftover candy.

* * *

A/N: Am I rushing anyone with all these fast posts? XD I figured everyone needs their daily dose of humor.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you to everyone that reviewed! I actually had a different chapter all ready to post when I realized that I needed this one to come first. Darn, well, I got another one sitting here ready for the next post…

* * *

It was a normal Saturday morning, except for the fact that Will had woken up hoping that Sarah had cooked breakfast for him, and she hadn't. Mildly disappointed, he had grabbed the closest thing he could find, which happened to be a bag of chips, and sat down in the chair in front of the TV. He planned on spending most, if not all, of the day there. Vacation was sweet.

The reason that Sarah had not cooked him breakfast was because she was mysteriously not at the house at all. She must had went for an early shopping trip or something.

"Where did Sarah go?" he asked Epps as he opened the bag of chips he had taken from the kitchen. Epps shrugged with a weird look on his face.

"I don't know, man. She like ran out of the house with Annabelle five minutes before you came down here. She barely finished her pancakes."

Will dropped the chip he was holding in disbelief. "She made pancakes for herself and didn't leave me any?"

"Don't worry. She didn't share with me either. Said she didn't have time to make us any. Whatever it was-was important."

Will racked his brain to see if he could remember her saying anything was going on today. Nope. Just a Saturday in the middle of the month. Nothing special. Shrugging, he returned to his chips and the morning news. Knowing her, she would tell him all about it whenever she came home.

A couple hours passed, and she didn't come home. Will crinkled up the now empty chip bag and tossed it toward the garbage can in the kitchen. It didn't quite make it. Sighing, he turned the TV to a different channel. Another minute passed before both he and Epps were startled by Ironhide blaring his horn outside of the window.

"Hell, 'Hide, give me a heart attack!" Will yelled after he threw open the window. "What's going on?"

"I've just received a message from Optimus. We have to report to the base immediately. There has been an attack. They are in serious trouble," the truck informed them.

"Holy shit, must be Decepticons!" Epps yelled, already running toward the door.

"Hold up! I'm not even dressed!" Will yelled back, running the opposite way and taking the stairs to the second floor by twos. He was still wearing his sleepwear. He heard Epps sigh before following him up. They tore apart his closet, randomly picking out a pair of pants and a t-shirt.

"Come on!" Epps shouted, thrusting the clothes in Will's direction. The latter was trying to jump into his pants without falling over. He barely had enough time to snatch the pistol he kept hidden in his bedroom before Epps was rushing him back down the stairs.

"I need shoes too!" Will called as they raced down the stairs. He was still trying to pull his shirt on while running. Epps threw the boots that he found by the door in his friend's direction.

"They're all going to be dead by the time we get there, Lennox!"

Ironhide was right outside the front door, the doors of the truck open for them. All they had to do was leap in and yell for him to hit the gas. The truck burned rubber. They were flying down the highway, and in half of the time that it normally took, they made it to the base. Sprinting across the parking lot to the front doors, Will and Epps had to weave in and out of parked cars. The lot was crowded. From the outside everything looked normal, except for the two men running at break neck speed to get to the main entrance.

"I should not have had those chips for breakfast!" Will yelled over to his friend as he almost took off a mirror of a car when he ran by it. He felt like he was going to hurl. Looking back, he realized he recognized the car. It was Sarah's. What the hell was she doing here? Now wasn't the time to ask that question though, because she was in danger then, too, and so was his daughter.

"I shouldn't have been drinking all that Mountain Dew over the past few days!" Epps shouted back.

Panting, out of breath, they finally made it to the doors. It shouldn't had taken quite so long, but vacation hadn't been sweet to them. They were feeling rather out of shape. Yanking on the door, Will almost ran into it when it didn't open. Swearing, he peered through the glass. The interior of the building was dark as far as he could see. No one was right there on the other side anyway.

"The bad guys must be holding hostages or something!" Epps said. "They must had taken everyone to a certain room."

Now, Will was really worried. There was no way he was letting some guy, or large metal robot, hold his wife hostage. "We've got to find another way in." He looked around, almost desperately and spied another entrance further down that was open. It was the door that the Autobots used at the base. "There!" he said, pointing toward it and already moving forward.

Epps followed him. When he ran in the door way, he skidded to a sudden halt as lights flared on, blinding him. He pulled out the pistol he had on instinct, but paused when the crowd of people all threw confetti and yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

He stood in stunned silence for a long while, staring at the crowd of people that were not being held hostage. There was quite a lot of people there, too. People he knew from the army, his wife and daughter, the Autobots, Sam, and even Mikaela. His eyes shifted to the sign that was hung up that stated exactly what the crowd had just yelled and the food set up along with a stack of presents. Annabelle broke away from Sarah's hold and ran to him, hugging him tightly.

"Happy Birthday, Daddy!"

Epps began to crack up in uncontrollable laughter. "I can't believe you didn't remember it was your birthday!"

"Will?" Sarah looked a little worried. "Say something? And put the gun away…"

He slowly slipped the gun back into its place. "I can't believe you guys did this to me." He turned to Epps. "You were in on this?" His friend could only nod.

"Everyone knew, man. Even Ironhide."

The shock wore off, leaving Will to remember the panic he had gone through on his way over here. He turned to Epps and punched him right in the nose. The Sergeant doubled over, clutching his nose as it bleed.

"What the hell was that for?"

"I almost had a heart attack on the way over here!" Will yelled back. "All that running and worrying, and YOU KNEW THE WHOLE TIME!" He rounded on his friend again, but surprisingly, Sam ran between them.

"Wait! It's not completely his fault! Sarah told everyone that she wanted to surprise you, and I was the one who suggested the base attack. It's…it's my fault. I'm sorry." The teen looked thoroughly convinced that Will was going to punch him next; he was already flinching back in anticipation. Will had no intentions of beating the kid up though. He shoved him lightly instead, just enough to scare Sam a little.

"That was pretty good, kid. I'll give you that."

Sam relaxed when he realized he wasn't going to get the crap beaten out of him. "Yeah, I was pretty proud of it."

* * *

Comments are appreciated. I hope you are still enjoying the story :)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed that last chapter. There has been quite a few people who have put this story on their alerts list and favorites. Thanks to them as well! I'm also sorry to say that this is going to be the last chapter for a little while. I'm taking a short break from this story to work on a few other things.

* * *

"Dude, I found some wicked awesome piercings on here," Epps called, waving Will over to the computer to show him. Will wasn't sure he wanted to see, but he walked over anyway. Sure enough, complete with pictures and descriptions, as if the pictures weren't enough, were some of the oddest piercings that he had ever seen.

"Please don't tell me that you're thinking of getting one," Will responded.

"Hell, no. Though the one with the guy piercing his…"

"Whoa! Do not want to know!" Will started to walk away, going back to his lunch. Annabelle was seated at the table, happily eating as well.

"Daddy, I want some orange juice!" she called. Will complied, pouring it for her.

"No, man, really! Look, I think it would be kind of…"

"Epps!" Will gestured to Annabelle, and then made a sign to be quiet.

"She doesn't know what I'm talking about!" Epps protested. None-the-less, he was quiet except for the tapping on the keyboard. A moment later, Epps was howling with laughter. "Lennox, oh, man, we have to do this!"

Will rolled his eyes. "You really need to stop surfing YouTube." He picked up Annabelle's empty plate and put it in the sink with his own to wash later.

"They have this event called the Gallon Challenge. You have to drink a gallon of milk in an hour and keep it down for another hour afterwards," Epps explained, pointing to the screen that depicted people throwing up milk everywhere.

"Hell, I could drink a gallon of _chocolate_ milk without puking," Will answered confidently. "Stomach of steel. Remember that desert spider I ate once?"

Epps started to laugh as he remembered the incident in question. The spider had been the biggest one he had ever seen, and he had dared the captain to eat. Not able to back away from a challenge, Will had ate it and managed to keep the thing down. "Hey, you got a gallon of milk in the fridge? We can do this."

Will checked the fridge, pulling out the gallon of chocolate milk that Sarah had just bought for Annabelle. "We got this, and we got a half gallon of regular whole milk."

"Well, you get the chocolate, Mr. Stomach of Steel," Epps replied, taking the half gallon from Will's hand. "Should we get like a garbage can ready or something?"

Will snorted. "I'm not going to need one. This is going to be easy. I bet people who did that challenge before haven't been in the army."

Looking at each other challengingly, they began to drink.

Twenty Minutes Later…

"How are you feeling?" Epps asked, taking another small swallow. The milk was starting to taste bad after having this much and a little heavy like glue. This had been a bad idea. Will was sitting across the table from him, looking equally as grossed out. He managed a response though.

"This is easy. I knew it would be. I can't believe people can't do this…"

"Did you make sure Annabelle was taping this correctly?" Epps questioned, looking toward the little girl holding the camera. They had bribed her to get her to tape this, since it was going to be a successful effort.

"Yeah, I set it all up for her. She just has to hold it and…" Will trailed off, swallowing hard for a moment. Epps felt his own stomach turn nauseously. This had been a really bad idea.

Both Will and Epps bolted for the bathroom as the milk began to make a violent comeback. They were both hurling their guts up in the toilet as Annabelle followed them, still filming.

"Oh god, I hate milk," Will groaned as he pushed himself away from the toilet momentarily.

Sarah came inside the house, dirty from gardening and feeling the effects of the hot day. She started to pour herself a glass of water when she noticed how quiet it was in the house. That was unusual when she had a small kid and two equally childish men around. Looking around, she noted that both the milk cartons were sitting, mostly empty on the kitchen table.

"Will? Annabelle?" she called, sounding worried. Who knew what kind of mess they were in now. Will stumbled out of the bathroom, looking a little worse for wear.

"Why is the milk all gone?" Sarah asked with a puzzled expression. She held up the cartons for emphasis. Seeing the cartons that empty only reinforced how much Will had drank. He turned green at the thought of it, quickly covered his mouth, and ran back for the bathroom.

"Will?" Sarah put the milk down and followed him. She came upon the sight of both her husband and his best friend kneeling on the floor of the bathroom while they were ruthlessly sick. She put her hands on her hips, putting two and two together.

"Wow, you guys are really smart," she commented. "I was going to feel bad for you until I realized what you did."

Annabelle pointed the camera in Sarah's direction. "Smile, Mommy!" she said, clearly not disturbed by what was going on. Sarah took the camera from her, turning it off with a sigh.

"Both of you can spend the rest of the day in here for all I care," Sarah stated as she left. "Because if you're that stupid, then you can pay the price." She didn't sound at all sympathetic.

She retreated back outside, this time taking Annabelle with her. The little girl had been influenced too much by Epps lately, in Sarah's opinion. Ironhide was sitting in truck form in the driveway. He must had been monitoring the situation in the house because he spoke up when she passed by him.

"Doesn't Captain Lennox realize that generally humans do not succeed when they attempt that challenge? It has been done, but it is not easy."

"I think you are forgetting that when Epps and Will are together, they do stupid things," Sarah answered. She paused for a moment, turning to face the truck. "Hey, Ironhide, do you want to do me a favor?"

"Perhaps."

"I want to get Epps out of the house for a little while and away from us. Want to help?"

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Reviews/Comments are appreciated.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I was only gone for about a week. That's the shortest break I have ever taken! One of my reviewers thought it would be funny to involve some sort of water fight in this chapter. The offer was too tempting to pass up, but I did change it a little bit. As always, enjoy! It took me forever to format it right. It was being very frustrating and messing up...

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Since it was a relatively nice day out, Will was sitting outside, bent over some papers he was studying. Annabelle was playing in the yard not far from where he was perched on the railing of the porch, actually entertaining herself for once, for the most part. Once and a while she would wonder over in Ironhide's direction where who knew what the bot was actually doing. Whenever she inquired as to what he was doing, he answered with some big words that little Annabelle had no prayer of ever understanding. It didn't stop her from asking multiple times however.

Will was interrupted by Epps yelling for him before he came practically running out of the house. Will tried to not look annoyed at being bothered, not being in the mood for Epps right now. It was far too early to listen to his friend whine how there wasn't any chips left. Will hadn't even gotten his fix of coffee this morning because they were out. The result had been him feeling less than sociable for a while.

"Lennox! Your wife has gone crazy! I swear to…" Epps stopped yelling once he reached Will, doubling over to rest his hands on his knees and try to catch his breath. He looked like he had just run a mile. "That crazy…she just chased me the whole way around the house with a gun. I swear she's gonna…"

Will winced. "Did you say gun?" There was no way Sarah was chasing someone around with a gun. Not only did he hide his weapons in case she got mad at him, Sarah never expressed any interest in ever wanting to learn how to use a gun. He was sure she could use one if she really wanted to, but she usually avoided them.

"Yes! She's…"

Epps was cut off by Sarah storming out of the house, brandishing a gun. Will wasn't sure if he was dreaming this entire thing up. Sarah got pretty mad on some occasions, but she would never shoot anyone.

"Honey…" He started to calmly ask her what she was thinking of doing, even though that was clear, but she cut him off.

"Don't you honey me, Will Lennox!" she screeched, still pointing the gun Epps. "He has been in our house for a month! I want him out! I can't take it anymore!"

Ironhide showed no interest in the situation and neither did Annabelle. The Autobot had paused long enough to make sure that the gun Sarah was using was indeed a realistic looking water gun, and not a real one like he had been assured it wouldn't be, before turning away. The two scared humans were either not paying enough attention or not close enough to notice the subtle differences the fake gun had from a real one. It certainly wasn't his problem since their lives weren't actually in danger.

"Okay, I'm sure he'll leave," Will offered, looking over at Epps pointedly. The other man didn't look up to arguing the point, not with Sarah waving the gun around them like that. "But, give me the gun, please." Will reached out slowly toward the gun to take it away from her. He could hear Ironhide moving around behind them, but he assumed that the Autobot was coming to aid them, so he didn't take his eyes off of the gun to look.

Sarah's eyes drifted over his shoulder to see what Ironhide was doing, and Will took the opportunity to snatch the barrel of the gun and force it to point down at the ground and away from them. He frowned as soon as he touched it, squinting his eyes to inspect the gun more closely. It didn't feel like any of the guns he owned. Before his brain could compute what was wrong with it, Sarah ripped it from his grasp and pulled the trigger. Epps yelled, ducking down to try and escape the bullet. No bullet left the gun. Instead, a stream of water bounced off of his head, and Sarah began to laugh. It was a slightly evil laugh.

"What the…" It took Epps a few moments to realize what had just happened, and why he wasn't dead. There was another sound behind them and soon a lot of water was being dumped on their heads. Will spun around to see Ironhide innocently holding the hose in his huge metal hand. The expressions of horror on their faces made Sarah laugh harder.

"Ironhide!"

"Sarah requested that I help her rid your house of Epps," the Autobot responded as if it was a perfectly good reason to be soaking them with water. "The water fight was her idea, however."

Both Will and Epps ran for the house to escape the water and the madly laughing Sarah who was following them. Annabelle was playing under the hose though, clearly enjoying herself.

"Epps, I really do want you out of the house!" Sarah called as both of the men ducked behind the couch.

"You know you could just leave, and she would stop going on a rampage," Will suggested to his friend. Epps shook his head, wiping the water off of his face. Will didn't even bother trying to dry himself off, his clothes were soaked.

"That would be too easy and giving her what she wants," Epps responded. "I'm not going to let her scare me with some water gun."

Will rolled his eyes, but they fell silent when they couldn't hear any commotion anymore. Not even Sarah's footsteps. That wasn't a good sign. That meant she had probably planned something else and was waiting to carry it out.

"Epps," Will whispered. "What were you doing before Sarah chased you out of the house?"

The man paused for a second, thinking about it. "I was cleaning my paintball gun, and then she came down the stairs…" He trailed off, looking over at Will who had closed his eyes. There was no doubt he had come to the same conclusion that he had. "That smart son of a…"

"There's nowhere to hide," Sarah announced as she came around the side of the couch, aiming the paintball gun at them. Without any padding on, getting hit by one of those was going to hurt, especially at close range. They scrambled to their feet. "All I want is for Epps to leave the house for a while. Is that too much to ask?"

Epps began a hasty retreat to the door. "Look, Mrs. Lennox, I'm sure we don't have to go this drastic…"

Sarah was following him outside, making sure that he was heading toward his truck this time. It had been parked in their driveway for a month without moving.

"Sarah." Will tried to talk some sense into her and tell her that she didn't have to scare away his friend with his own paintball gun, but she turned the gun to him, so he quickly shut his mouth. Her finger was dangerously close to the trigger.

"Don't say it, Will, or I will do it and not even feel bad when you have a nasty bruise."

Before she could get any further though, Ironhide shoved a huge hand between them, taking the gun from Sarah and effectively separating them.

"Hey! You're on my side this time, remember!" Sarah called up to the Autobot.

"I said I was as long as no one got hurt," Ironhide answered. With his other hand, he shoved Epps into his truck, and all but pushed the vehicle away from the house without giving Epps the time to start the engine. Once the truck did start, it peeled away from the home. "I'm sick of the way you all fight. Is this how all human families work?"

Will rubbed the back of his neck, watching Sarah go back inside the house, looking pleased with herself. "Yeah, Ironhide. I think they are all like this."

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That evening while enjoying a quiet dinner for once since Epps was gone, there was a knock at the door. Sarah must have mentioned a thousand times how nice it was for Epps not to be around. Will let her answer the door since she was already standing. The yell that echoed into the kitchen told him who was at the door even though he couldn't see them.

"Why the hell did you come back?!"


End file.
